Father’s Last Years

With the last story about brother Christoph’s happiness in his marriage and the end of it through the death of his dear wife I got several years ahead of myself. First I should have told about the quiet life of the parents and the end of father’s life, since he died already five years earlier the end of November in 1879. Father’s health was not robust. He was often sickly most of the times with colds with a strong urge for coughing. He certainly would not have lived for 77 years, if he had not been so modest in everything and abstained from everything harmful. He did not drink or smoke and had no strong passions. He was satisfied with his work and his calm and quiet family life. When colds came, he used home remedies, swallowed the juice of the bitter aloe with syrup or honey, that was his tried remedy. He ate obediently his rye mush, which seemed to be always good for him.

I remember that he had a bad case of pneumonia at the end of the sixties. He was in bed for more than six week and it took him a long time to recover. At that time the fine friend of humanity, Dr. August Haken, was still alive. He did not hesitate to come to a very sick patient in the middle of the night. Earlier he had gotten the key to the gate and came around 11 or 12 o’clock at night. And later, he always was happy when he could return such a father of a family back to health. Thus he said to father at that time, “Well old friend, with God’s help you made it again; but watch out for another attack. Your lungs won’t be able to handle that.”

Well father and mother lived a few more decades, did not really have to work that hard, since the houses earned them enough for the basics, and they no longer had to worry about the children, since the sons were marred and we girls had our positions. We would come home ever now and then for relaxation or on vacation. But the quiet living alone was not quite enough to satisfy the parents. The two married sons had their own interests in other directions, and found little time for the parents. Especially unpleasant was the relation with the son Bernhard, who was after all closest to father’s heart. He was now pretty much under the thumb of his wife Alide. Both became surlier. It only took a small thing and enmity was declared. Therefor father and mother pulled completely back, but suffered a lot under this. Even the little Sascha was no longer allowed to visit the grandparents. Only later, when he already went to school and was an independent little man, was he allowed to visit the grandparents every Sunday afternoon.

Sister Mila was at the beginning the great confidant and girlfriend of the sister-in-law Alide. But that did not last long, some row came and immediately there was enmity between them, which often lasted for months. Only with me did she never really get into a real tiff. I was less often at home, and stayed away from her. The worst insult, which sister-in-law Lida threw at me during differences in opinion was “Oh, you governess” which I answered quite cold-blooded with the well-known saying: “Oh well, Even the gods fight in vain against stupidity.” And oddly she never thought that it was meant her, since she thought she was infallible in everything that was knowledgeable and thus we never to into a real quarrel and the inevitable enmity afterwards.

We girls should have been more around the parents when we were home, but at that time we were rather self-centered and went here and there to find amusements with old friend or to enjoy something or other. Thus the vacation soon was over and with easy heart and with feeling guilty we would leave the parents again. Yes, the thoughts of sins of omission they only come in later, more mature years and then one is ashamed of them and cannot erase them out of the memory. Therefore: sprinkle flowers of love while you are alive. Young people really should take this saying to heart

In the seventies father had a rare reunions with his brother Joachim. His daughter Sophie was married to a seaman Sturm, who regularly sailed with his mercantile ship to Riga. Once he could take his father-in-law for free. Letters were written that said that the brother would arrive on such and such a date. Father went early to the Duena to greet him and waited for hours. When the ship had not arrived late in the evening, father came back home and went to bed. After about an hour, there was a loud knocking at the gate, and a seaman had brought the old rather late guest. He was brought to the bed of father who had been awakened. Both brothers are said to have looked at each other rather strangely without a hint of recognizing each other. The brother also had little to say to each other. In addition, it was found out, that the brother Joachim was almost completely deaf.

I did not get to meet this Uncle Joachim, since I spent that summer in my position in Lithauen. But everyone wrote to me and told me about this Uncle Joachim. Accordingly, Uncle Joachim was despite his deafness a very nice, well-mannered old man, who was thankful for everything that was done for him. Mother, of course, new how to cook well and how to make a guest feel welcome. They showed him all the place of interests in and around Riga and took him everywhere. The summer months passed by this way and in the fall, when the ship with the son-in-law Sturm came for the last time, the old brother and uncle was taken back home. It had been nice to see each other.

Father’s last year, 1879, was full of trials for him. He often complained of rheumatic pain, coughed again more, and then a new problem was added through his own carelessness. One day he had gone to his son Bernhard, to talk something over. When he was leaving he noticed that gate to the street had a decayed lock, and the door handle was hanging down. He started to work on it to get it back in order. While doing this he stuck himself in the hand with a rusted nail. When he got home, he took pure arnica and made a poultice for his hand. Es was nobody at home, who could have stopped him. Soon the wound started to hurt more, and after a few hours the hand and the whole arm had swollen. Now he went to a doctor. But since an allopathic doctor always immediately wanted to operate and maybe even amputate, he was afraid of him. Therefore, father this time preferred to try a homeopath, Dr. Meyer, about whom he had heard a lot of good. He ordered innocent waters to be taken internally and poultices externally. The growth did fall off, but father was often tormented by a lot of pain. He sometimes wailed and moaned all day and night. When son Bernhard and his wife heard about the accident, they only said: “Well, why did he have to put his nose into everything.” They were just irritated, that father again had noticed something in their sloppy household. That’s how the dear children are.

In the month of November, when the winter storms were already noticeable with their cold winds, teacher Braunstein, his former foe came to father. Now he was more mature and sensible probably under the good influence of his wife. He had a request. Would Uncle Lietz be so kind and look with him at a couple of houses, who were presently on the market. He wanted to bye himself a house but did not have the expert knowledge. Well, Uncle Lietz was always willing if he could help someone. And thus the two started walking. It was a pretty far way since it was in the next suburb and father had pulled on only his light jacket not even his fur. When came back after a few hours, he was thoroughly chilled and his cough had gotten worse.

After a few days it got very bad, again pneumonia. He called his homeopathic doctor, Doctor Meyer. He understood less how to handle this with his waters and draughts than the allopathic doctors. Father’s condition got worse and we were waiting for the crisis, which was supposed to be coming after a few days. But a new sickness was added, mumps. One morning the face and throat were swollen and very painful. Now we had little hope, and on the 27th of November (9th of December according to the new calendar) around noon the end came. Father did not die easy, he had a hard fight with death. I was at that time at home and shared with mother all the fear and worry and the sorrow not to be able to help. When the other members of the family had been called and arrived, the quietness of death had already descended on the house. Sister Mila was at that time in a position on the island Oesel (in Arensburg with the family von Poll). Because of big storms which made the trip by ship very difficult, she could not even come to the funeral.

Father had ordered that we should bury him only after nine days. During his life he always was very afraid of an apparent death and that he might be buried alive. We wanted to do this according to his wish, and laid him out in the cool forecourt. However, already after the fourth day, the changes were so great, a collapse of the whole appearance, that we had to close the coffin since apparent death was impossible. He was buried on the 4th/16th of December.